LucyP Marcus on the occasion of the 50th anniversary of The Feminine Mystique writes
about the Leadership Nuggets from Betty Freidman whose words are relevant even
today and arouse violent emotions:
1. "There needs to be bolder
thinking, on how to measure the quality of life of men and women in the work
force. Currently, success is measured by material advancements. We need to
readjust the definition of success to account for time outside of work and
satisfaction of life, not just the dollars-and-cents bottom line."
2. “You can have it all, just not all at the
same time.”
3. “A good woman is one who loves passionately, has guts, seriousness and passionate convictions,
takes responsibility, and shapes society. ”
4. “The key to the trap is, of course,
education. The feminine mystique has made higher education for women seem
suspect, unnecessary and even dangerous. But I think that education, and only
education, has saved, and can continue to save, American women from the greater
dangers of the feminine mystique.”
5. “Aging is not 'lost youth' but a new stage
of opportunity and strength.”
6. “It is easier to live through someone else
than to complete yourself."
7. “It's a different stage of life, and if you
are going to pretend its youth, you are going to miss it. You are going to miss
the surprises, the possibilities, and the evolution that we are just beginning
to know about because there are no role models and there are no guideposts and
there are no signs.”
8. “In almost every professional field, in
business and in the arts and sciences, women are still treated as second-class
citizens. It would be a great service to tell girls who plan to work in society
to expect this subtle, uncomfortable discrimination--tell them not to be quiet,
and hope it will go away, but fight it. A girl should not expect special
privileges because of her sex, but neither should she "adjust" to
prejudice and discrimination”
9. “It is wrong to keep spelling out
unnecessary choices that make women unconsciously resist either commitment or
motherhood--and that hold back recognition of the needed social changes.”
10. “You can show more of the reality of
yourself instead of hiding behind a mask for fear of revealing too much”
11. “The only way for a woman, as for a man,
to find herself, to know herself as a person, is by creative work of her own.”
12. “Just as darkness is sometimes defined as
the absence of light, so age is defined as the absence of youth.”
13. "The freedom to lead and plan your
own life is frightening if you have never faced it before. It is frightening
when a woman finally realizes that there is no answer to the question 'who am
I' except the voice inside herself.”
14. “...bowling alleys and supermarkets have
nursery facilities, while schools and colleges and scientific laboratories and
government offices do not.”
15. “A woman has got to be able to say, and
not feel guilty, 'Who am I, and what do I want out of life?' She mustn't feel
selfish and neurotic if she wants goals of her own, outside of husband and
children.”
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