About Conflict Resolution

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Conflict resolution can be defined as the informal or formal process that two or more parties use to find a peaceful solution to their dispute. A number of common cognitive and emotional traps, many of them unconscious can exacerbate conflict and contribute to the need for conflict resolution. The traps are:

Self-serving interpretation of fairness; rather than deciding what’s fair from a position of neutrality we interpret what would be most fair to us, then justify this preference on the basis of fairness.

Overconfidence; we tend to be overconfident in our own judgment, a tendency that leads us to unrealistic expectation;

Escalation of commitment to the chosen course of action is another trap;

Conflict avoidance is natural but also represents a potential problem; because negative emotions cause discomfort and distress.

Ways for conflict resolution:

1.    Draw principles of collaborative negotiation; explore interests of underlying parties; determine the best alternative to negotiate agreement; brainstorming options; look for trade off across issues. Outcome may be satisfying without the aid of outside parties.

2.    Mediation: Enlist trained, neutral third party to help. These professional mediators work with parties together or desperately help to reach a resolution that is sustainable, voluntary and non-binding.

3.    Arbitration: Resembles a court trial except that a neutral third party serves as a judge and makes decisions to end the dispute.

4.    Civil Litigation: A defendant and a plaintiff face off before either a judge or a judge and jury, who weighs the evidence and makes a ruling.

      It makes sense to start off with less expensive, less formal conflict resolution procedures, such as negotiation and mediation; arbitration and litigation demand large commitments to money.

Source: Katie Shonk, "What is conflict resolution and how does it work?”

The Hindu, 12^th November, 2015

Emotion matters in Negotiations

Lt. Jack Cambria, the longest running head of the New York Police Depts. hostage negotiation team said that successful negotiators must, “experience the emotion of love at one point in their life, to know what it means to have been hurt in love at one point I their life, to know success and perhaps most important, to know what it means to know failure. The very good negotiators are the ones with life stories.” 

Following lessons from the NYPD’s negotiation training could be elements of successful training for professional negotiators in the business world as well.

Deal with emotions first: According to Cambria the first 15 to 45 minutes of a crisis negotiation are the most critical. Negotiation training teaches officers to “manage the emotion level first”. It can be difficult to confront emotions at the office but doing so often leads to unexpected breakthrough and promotes a calmer, more collaborative discussions.

Listen to learn: Listen carefully with the goal of identifying his key underlying problem or motivation. When we synthesize what we have heard as negotiators and probe our counterparts underlying feelings, we can get beyond simply focusing on what we are going to say next.

Build trust through small concessions: During the listening process, negotiators work to build a trusting relationship that allows for productive trade off. You can build trust in your negotiation by making concessions that are easy to give but valuable for the other party to receive.

Business negotiations are rarely the type of life and death situation. Yet as Cambria learnt in his encounters we are more alike than we are different – a fact that effective negotiation courses emphasis.

Source: The Hindu Empower, 23^rd September 2015

"Negotiating around cultural differences"

This is the title of the article that I read in the Hindu on August 6, 2014. We find that many youngsters are crossing boundaries to either study in a university abroad or to secure a job. They are also sent on deputation by their employers especially if it is an MNC. Culture shock and differences are bound to arise. It is more difficult to put across your view point and negotiate when you are interacting with people from different cultures. I have picked some vital points from this article which will give some tips while negotiating with people from different cultures.  

Read on.........

“Negotiators focus narrowly on the most obvious information about the task at hand.               Prof Max H Bazerman of Harvard Business School in Cambridge says such focusing failures lead negotiators to overlook information that is equally important but less obvious. When you learn that you will be negotiating with someone from a different culture that person's culture becomes the most salient aspect especially if the culture is unfamiliar to you. Individual differences play an important role in negotiation around cultural differences. Cultural differences are unique and multifaceted. For an international negotiation, emphasis should be placed on culture so that your counterpart is not offended with insensitive behavior. Simultaneously focusing too much on culture can also back fire. Therefore the guidelines that can help to strike the right balance are:

• Consider the individual: Back ground research on your counterpart’s culture, including his / her profession, work experience, education areas of expertise, personality and his / her negotiating experience. Ensure that your counterpart treats you as an individual rather than as stereotypes. Suggest an introductory telephone call to discuss your plans and expectation for your first meeting.
• Broaden your scope: Understand issues pertaining to changing politics and laws in the region, the interest of community groups and business norms. Adopting a more inclusive mindset and thinking like a diplomat, though you will improve your odds or reach a successful lasting agreement.
• Reduce stress: Emotional stress, deadline and accountability to others from your own culture can cause you to act in lockstep with cultural expectation. Do what you can to reduce stress at the bargaining table whether by taking breaks, extending dead lines or asking a neutral third person to help you to resolve any differences that arise during your talks.

Notes: 
Lockstep.......means a way of marching in which the marchers follow each other as closely as possible.

Preparing like a Jazz performer to negotiate.

Prof. Michael Wheeler of the Harvard Business school says: 

Preparation  is an essential stage in negotiation.

Elements of negotiation are constantly evolving through out the process. Over preparation can cause us to disregard the moments of good fortune and synergy that crop up during the process. The best improvisor says:

• They pay close attention to the world around them.
• They identify when and how tho influence and adapt to others and 
• They are proactive, taking considered risks to move the action forward.

Negotiators must assess when to take the lead and when to listen, as jazz musician switch off between soloing and comping*, accompanying or complementing what the other ensemble members are playing.

Jazz players make a split second decision about what notes to play in response to what they hear.  Comping is equally important in negotiation . If there are 3 demands, 2 is out of question resist the urge to immediately condemn them. Pick up a seed or an idea to praise and expand upon, in the same way like a skilled jazz musician.

In a world of improve-comedy every ad-libbed* line adds information that propels the story forward. the offer and agreement becomes the foundation on which the actos construct their relation and their imaginary world.

Wise negotiators understand that being tight lipped and inscrutable will hurt them as much as it will the other party, "always agree, never negate."

Find a useful nugget in even the most preposterous* statement. Adopt the habit of "yes instead of "but" or "no" . (the word "not" is a verbal stop sign). It is wise to strive 80% comfort zone and 20% outside it.

How can you manage your nerves?

Preparation is the ubiquitous* prescription; armed ourselves with solid facts and analysis, we improve our confidence and our ability to be nimble at the table.

However, negotiators also can quiet their inner critic by practicing mindfulness, a state of mind in which we accept our passing thoughts and emotions without judgements .

For eg: that you feel your anger stirring in response to a threat from a counter part . As a mindful negotiator, rather than either surpassing the anger or succumbing to it, you simply register your irritation at the other person and move on. 

Psychologist Alison Wood Brooks research identified emotions reappraisal* to be an effective means of transforming anxiety into a productive stat of mindful alertness.

P.S.: The essay in the source given below has been condensed to highlight the vital points in negotiation by me. I find that these are not  techniques to be followed in a work place as a leader but can be successfully applied at home, while presenting an idea to your family members.

Source: The Hindu, February12, 2014, "Negotiations success, the Jazzs way."

Notes:

*comping means....to play a jazz accompaniment.

*ad-libbed ......improvised performance.

*preposterous......contrary in nature.

*ubiquitous.........seeming to be every where at the same time.

*reappraisal......a new appraisal or evaluation.